Soul Mates
Exploring the similarities between George Bush and Adolph Hitler
So, does President Bush have a comparable governing style to that of Adolph Hitler? It’s a question that many find offensive—mostly conservatives, the PC crowd and many Jews who believe the mere mention of Adolph Hitler in the same sentence as an American president is an offense to most Americans and the millions of people Hitler exterminated.
So, once again, the discussion has been diverted. No longer is the question, “What are the similarities,” but whether it’s even appropriate to ask that question in the first place.
To which I say, fuck that noise. This theory needs to be explored. Keep in mind, however, that you can compare the careers of any two historical figures and easily find (or create) similarities between them. Like the infamous Kennedy/Lincoln Coincidences, in which the truth was manipulated to maintain a seemingly supernatural series of coincidences. I will try to resist that temptation.
The Hitler/Bush Coincidences
1. Gender: Adolph Hitler is male. George Walker Bush is also male.
2. Health: Hitler suffered temporary eye damage in 1918. George Bush is hopelessly myopic.
3. Academia: Hitler wrote Mein Kampf. It’s a book. George Bush has heard of books.
4. Fear-mongering: In 1933, Germany’s parliament building, the Reichstag, was burned to the ground. The Nazis blamed communists, though no compelling evidence was found. By manipulating the fear and anger of the people in the aftermath, Germany installed The Decree for the Protection of People and State, which extended the Nazis’ powers.
Ditto the Bush administration, which used the fear and anger stemming from 9/11 as an excuse to extend its governmental powers via the Patriot Act.
5. Good Intentions: Hitler was a competent diplomat. He told the leaders of Europe that he wanted peace—that he adored peace—while simultaneously goose-stepping across their countries during WWII. George Bush also claims to be about peace while simultaneously waging war. He, too, makes such warmy-fuzzy peace-loving statements like, “Freedom is on the march,” and the lesser known, though equally oxy-moronic, “Bazooking some asses for liberty.”
6. Quibbling with the French: The French criticized Der Führer for his belligerent saber rattling. Hitler in turn called the French “Zee girly-men” and told the people of Germany that he didn’t give a half-turd what the French thought—and who the hell are the French anyway to criticize his foreign policy—and thereby issued a ban on French fries, ordering that they be called “Nazi frites,” which, of course, angered the French, who then renamed German potato salad “potato salad Française.” Not to be outdone, Hitler called in his cabinet for an emergency food-renaming conference,” which resulted in French toast being renamed, “The eggy-sugary breakfast bread of the Third Reich,” to which the French responded by changing Bavarian crème pie to “Eiffel pudding cake,” to which Hitler responded, “Oh yeah, well how about we just rename France altogether? Hmm, what shall we call it? Oh, I know, how about we call it ‘Little Germany’? Comprenez-vous, you little pricks. Deutschland Petite? It has a nice ring, no?”
Then Hitler invaded Paris.
7. Bunkers: Hitler spent much time in a bunker. George Bush also enjoys A. Bunker, as he spends his evenings watching All in the Family reruns on Nick at Night.
8. Christian Crusades: Probably the most disturbing of all the coincidences, both Adolph Hitler and George W. Bush used their Christian faith to bolster their crusades. Consider these quotes:
Adolph Hitler: “I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.” (From Mein Kampf, 1925).
George Bush: “God told me to strike at Al Qa’ida and I struck them…. And then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did.” (From minutes of Palestinian cease-fire negotiation, June 2003)
Here’s another relevant quote I uncovered during my research:
Satan: “When I get bored, one of my favorite things to do is put on my God costume and in the best God-voice I can muster, tell some random president or prime minister to start a war. Then I sit back and watch the fireworks! Wheee!” (From the Good Housekeeping interview, August 1999)
9. Soul Mates?: Hitler committed suicide on April 29, 1945. George Bush was born 15 months later, on July 6, 1946. Fifteen months is the exact amount of time it takes to be reincarnated. Yup, Hitler’s evil little soul has been reincarnated smack dab inside our beloved George Bush.
It’s true! When W. was born, they slapped him on the ass and he cried—in German!
However, in George Bush’s defense, there are some glaring differences between the two. For one thing, Hitler was an artist. George Bush has as much art in his body as a quesadilla has pits.
Secondly, Adolph Hitler was afraid of heights. George Bush embraces heights. He was even a pilot with the Texas National Guard, having bravely flown dangerous recon missions over Austin and San Antonio.
Finally, when defeat was imminent, Hitler shot himself. Now that’s an exit strategy. George Bush wouldn’t know an exit strategy if it were a blinking neon sign that said, “Exit Here, Stupid,” and an arrow pointing at the door.
So, is George Bush like Adolph Hitler? Hardly. But I don’t think we should have to wait for someone to be as bad as Hitler before we get to ask the question. I don’t think it’s ever wrong to ask that question because you know that evil little Hitler soul just keeps getting reincarnated over and over again and you just never know when or where it will pop up next.
From: San Diego CityBEAT- Ed Decker
So, does President Bush have a comparable governing style to that of Adolph Hitler? It’s a question that many find offensive—mostly conservatives, the PC crowd and many Jews who believe the mere mention of Adolph Hitler in the same sentence as an American president is an offense to most Americans and the millions of people Hitler exterminated.
So, once again, the discussion has been diverted. No longer is the question, “What are the similarities,” but whether it’s even appropriate to ask that question in the first place.
To which I say, fuck that noise. This theory needs to be explored. Keep in mind, however, that you can compare the careers of any two historical figures and easily find (or create) similarities between them. Like the infamous Kennedy/Lincoln Coincidences, in which the truth was manipulated to maintain a seemingly supernatural series of coincidences. I will try to resist that temptation.
The Hitler/Bush Coincidences
1. Gender: Adolph Hitler is male. George Walker Bush is also male.
2. Health: Hitler suffered temporary eye damage in 1918. George Bush is hopelessly myopic.
3. Academia: Hitler wrote Mein Kampf. It’s a book. George Bush has heard of books.
4. Fear-mongering: In 1933, Germany’s parliament building, the Reichstag, was burned to the ground. The Nazis blamed communists, though no compelling evidence was found. By manipulating the fear and anger of the people in the aftermath, Germany installed The Decree for the Protection of People and State, which extended the Nazis’ powers.
Ditto the Bush administration, which used the fear and anger stemming from 9/11 as an excuse to extend its governmental powers via the Patriot Act.
5. Good Intentions: Hitler was a competent diplomat. He told the leaders of Europe that he wanted peace—that he adored peace—while simultaneously goose-stepping across their countries during WWII. George Bush also claims to be about peace while simultaneously waging war. He, too, makes such warmy-fuzzy peace-loving statements like, “Freedom is on the march,” and the lesser known, though equally oxy-moronic, “Bazooking some asses for liberty.”
6. Quibbling with the French: The French criticized Der Führer for his belligerent saber rattling. Hitler in turn called the French “Zee girly-men” and told the people of Germany that he didn’t give a half-turd what the French thought—and who the hell are the French anyway to criticize his foreign policy—and thereby issued a ban on French fries, ordering that they be called “Nazi frites,” which, of course, angered the French, who then renamed German potato salad “potato salad Française.” Not to be outdone, Hitler called in his cabinet for an emergency food-renaming conference,” which resulted in French toast being renamed, “The eggy-sugary breakfast bread of the Third Reich,” to which the French responded by changing Bavarian crème pie to “Eiffel pudding cake,” to which Hitler responded, “Oh yeah, well how about we just rename France altogether? Hmm, what shall we call it? Oh, I know, how about we call it ‘Little Germany’? Comprenez-vous, you little pricks. Deutschland Petite? It has a nice ring, no?”
Then Hitler invaded Paris.
7. Bunkers: Hitler spent much time in a bunker. George Bush also enjoys A. Bunker, as he spends his evenings watching All in the Family reruns on Nick at Night.
8. Christian Crusades: Probably the most disturbing of all the coincidences, both Adolph Hitler and George W. Bush used their Christian faith to bolster their crusades. Consider these quotes:
Adolph Hitler: “I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.” (From Mein Kampf, 1925).
George Bush: “God told me to strike at Al Qa’ida and I struck them…. And then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did.” (From minutes of Palestinian cease-fire negotiation, June 2003)
Here’s another relevant quote I uncovered during my research:
Satan: “When I get bored, one of my favorite things to do is put on my God costume and in the best God-voice I can muster, tell some random president or prime minister to start a war. Then I sit back and watch the fireworks! Wheee!” (From the Good Housekeeping interview, August 1999)
9. Soul Mates?: Hitler committed suicide on April 29, 1945. George Bush was born 15 months later, on July 6, 1946. Fifteen months is the exact amount of time it takes to be reincarnated. Yup, Hitler’s evil little soul has been reincarnated smack dab inside our beloved George Bush.
It’s true! When W. was born, they slapped him on the ass and he cried—in German!
However, in George Bush’s defense, there are some glaring differences between the two. For one thing, Hitler was an artist. George Bush has as much art in his body as a quesadilla has pits.
Secondly, Adolph Hitler was afraid of heights. George Bush embraces heights. He was even a pilot with the Texas National Guard, having bravely flown dangerous recon missions over Austin and San Antonio.
Finally, when defeat was imminent, Hitler shot himself. Now that’s an exit strategy. George Bush wouldn’t know an exit strategy if it were a blinking neon sign that said, “Exit Here, Stupid,” and an arrow pointing at the door.
So, is George Bush like Adolph Hitler? Hardly. But I don’t think we should have to wait for someone to be as bad as Hitler before we get to ask the question. I don’t think it’s ever wrong to ask that question because you know that evil little Hitler soul just keeps getting reincarnated over and over again and you just never know when or where it will pop up next.
From: San Diego CityBEAT- Ed Decker
posted by C. William Boyer at 11:47 AM
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