Cheney's Got The Power

Associated Press
February 15, 2006
Vice President Dick Cheney says he has the power to declassify government secrets, raising the possibility that he authorized his former chief of staff to pass along sensitive pre-war data on Iraq to reporters. Vice President Dick Cheney says he has the power to declassify government secrets, raising the possibility that he authorized his former chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, to pass along sensitive pre-war data on Iraq to reporters.

DisAssociated Press
February 15, 2006
In a related story, citing falling productivity numbers, Mr. Cheney said that henceforth, Saturday has been renamed Monday Two and will be treated as a normal work day.
When questioned by a reporter about his power to rechristen Saturday as Monday Two, Mr. Cheney responded: "Because I have unlimited, unchecked power. Bwah-ha-ha. And henceforth, you are renamed . . . Toad Boy. Bwah-ha-ha. "